Struggle & Fragility

So I am struggling. I am fragile as well. 50. Seems like an okay number but it gets bigger somehow when I am struggling, when I am fragile. I got on a scale and saw a number I never thought I would see outside of pregnancy. It has loomed large on my mind since Monday. "How did you let this happen?" "What were you thinking?" "Have you NO self-control?" "What is the matter with you?" On and on the enemy chants, screams, bellows these thoughts. I am fragile. My knees are fragile, my back is now fragile. "Just get over it" "No pain, no gain" "I WILL move through the pain" These words are crashing through my brain like a dark, ugly, fierce, stronger-than-anything wave of darkness and pain. "Fragility is a gift" I am told by a friend. "Don't waste your pain" I am told by another. I want to medicate and escape. Then the still small voice, the voice I know is The Sustainer, The Savior, The Redeemer breaks the voices and clamor and clanging and says "Peace, be still" He has come for me. He has rescued, redeemed, renewed me. I will struggle again. I will become more fragile. He has overcome that for me.

What Happened?

So here it is May of 2011. I last posted in July of 2010. What Happened? My baby, IRM, will be 16 on Sunday. What Happened? PKM is leaving in August to go to college in Dallas, TX. What Happened? My oldest is gainfully employed at a grown-up job that he loves. What Happened? I am turning 50 in a few weeks, will celebrate my 30 th wedding anniversary in September and celebrate my husband's 50th in November. WHAT HAPPENED?
The older I get, the faster time seems to go by.
I have become slightly obsessed with blogs. I love to read them and I am hoping to be a better blogger myself. I am going to ask some of my more computer savvy friends how to design my blog so I will like it and maybe some friends will want to read it as well.